you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
