We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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