Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize