I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
