Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
