I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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