looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Randomize
