Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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