He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
