wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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