So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
