Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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