Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.

Fav 15 6190 1810
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(512): View more from Texas

I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.

Fav 10 2926 2097
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(925): View more from California

Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.

Fav 13 2115 888
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(616): View more from Michigan

He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.

Fav 4 755 1516
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(214): View more from Texas

Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.

Fav 2 1076 749
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(706): View more from Georgia

He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake

Fav 5 1232 588
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(785): View more from Kansas

Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.

Fav 4 1372 731
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(330): View more from Ohio

He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old

Fav 2 504 749
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on

Fav 0 42 31
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