i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
