This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
