That's when you crack a 10am beer
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
