sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
