Fuck appropriateness.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
