i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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