whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize