Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
