no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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