when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything