dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
We talked him into tasing himself.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass