After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize