Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.