speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.