I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.