You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder