so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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