Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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