Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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