please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize