Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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