So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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