After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize