But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
