if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I need a beard to bite.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
