dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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