This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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