I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
