I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize