At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
God, I missed his penis.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
