Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
