You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Randomize
