Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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