smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
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That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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