dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
