You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
