Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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