Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
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