its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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