Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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