im drinking this country out of the recession.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize