420 ftw
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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