Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Randomize
