some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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