i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
