If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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