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It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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