8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
